No Sanity Without Electricity
by Shadowgate
Summary: When they shut off your power because you're late paying the bill it's not fun.
1. Chapter 1

NO SANITY WITHOUT ELECTRICITY

BY SHADOWGATE

…

Stan Marsh woke up at 11 AM and suddenly the power went out.

Shelly yelled from her room "GODDAMN IT, I was talking to a nice boy online and the fucking power went off."

Stan said "well it's probably the weather you can see some dark clouds outside. I'm going to brush my teeth and hit the shower."

After Stan got out of the bathroom he called Kyle.

"Hey Kyle it's Stan how's it going?"

Kyle answered "oh great I'm watching a Terrance and Phillip rerun right now."

Stan asked "wait so your power isn't out from the weather?"

Kyle responded "no it's not and the weather isn't that bad."

Stan said "oh well the main reason I called was to see if your power was out."

Kyle said "well it's not."

Stan said "okay well let me call Cartman."

Stan called Cartman and told him he had no power.

Shelly said to Stan "hey do you think it could be because of the late bill?"

Stan told Cartman "hold on Cartman my sister needs me."

Shelly pointed out the bill's that kept showing up with "late warnings" on them.

Stan asked "you think so?"

Shelly replied "put two and two together you stupid turd. Your friends have electricity and we don't."

Stan said "holy shit" and then got back on the phone with Cartman.

Stan said "okay Cartman I now realize that my parents ran late paying the electricity bill."

Cartman busted out laughing and said "hey you have no electricity like Kenny. Ha and your dad has been arrested for drinking and driving hey maybe you'll have a poor alcoholic dad just like Kenny."

Cartman continues laughing and Stan says "I'll kick your ass so fucking hard Cartman."

Stan hangs up the phone and says he has to call his mom at work.

When he calls Sharon and tells her the power company cut off the electricity because they were late paying the bill Sharon moans but says she'll call the power company.

Shelly asked Stan what their mom said and Stan said "mom is calling the power company."

Shelly said "Goddamn it and I was talking to a boy online."

Stan replied "no way I thought you were a lesbian."

Shelly smacks Stan.

After Stan said "ouch" he asked "what about food? Won't our food spoil in 24 hours if we don't get the power back on?"

Shelly answered "well I'm not worried because I can always eat you." 

Stan yelled "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


	2. Chapter 2

No Sanity Without Electricity

Chapter 2

By Shadowgate

…

Stan took off from his house to the park basketball court.

There he saw Bridon Guermo on the basketball court and challenged him to a match.

"I will say I'm glad you're not after my girlfriend Bridon, now let's play basketball."

Bridon said "I heard you were worried about that. Why would I want to fuck up your life by stealing your girlfriend? You were helpful to me."

Stan then replied "you're right I'm being a dick. Bridon you're a good person."

After a 30 minute match Bridon won 15-11.

Then Kyle arrived.

"Hey Stan is your power back on?"

Stan turned to Kyle and said "no so I'm here. Before the game I called my sister on her cell phone and she said she talked to our mom at work. Our mom said it should be back on at 7 tonight."

Kyle then turned to Bridon and said "I challenge you."

Cartman showed up from behind the bushes and said "good thing Bridon isn't black Kyle or he'd kick your ass like all those black kids did at the Denver Convention Center."

Stan yelled out "HEY CARTMAN YOU'RE GETTING AN ASS WHOOPING."

Stan jumped on top of Cartman and punched him.

Then Stan got off of Cartman and gave him a swift kick.

Stan then said "you fucking hypocrite."

Cartman said "well my mom was able to get our power back on. She has a way of working with the power company when she forgets to pay the bill."

Stan said "oh I bet she calls a power company official to come out and sleep with her."

Cartman began crying.

Kyle and Bridon laughed.

Stan grabbed Cartman and helped him up. They both watched Bridon and Kyle play basketball.

Eventually 7PM rolled around and Stan went home.

When he got home he found his power was not on.

Stan said "what the fuck is going on?"

Sharon told her son to watch his language and that she would call.

When she called she was told that it would be another three to six hours because they just sent the order through.

Sharon was pissed off.

Randy said "well I'll just lie on the couch and have a beer. All we can do is wait for them."

Stan said "well I'm pissed off can I have a beer as well?"

Sharon said "No Stanly now get up stairs and take a shower."

At midnight Sharon called back. She was told that the men were going to send the order through but they forgot because they were on another big project.

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3

No Sanity Without Electricity

Chapter 3

By Shadowgate

…

When Stan Marsh woke up the next morning it was time for school. He was upset that the power still was not back on. Sharon said that she would have to call the power company at 9AM.

Randy said "oh man I wish Captain Hindsight was here."

Stan just blew up and said "dad Goddamn it Captain Hindsight is not a fucking genius and he'd just tell you what any fucking retard would tell you. You should have paid the fucking power bill."

Randy shot back "I don't have to take this kind of shit from my fucking ten year old son."

Sharon said "Stanly I've had it with your fucking foul language now it's time to get your ass to school."

When Stan got to school he told Kyle "I still don't have my power on yet."

Cartman laughed and Stan asked him "do you want another ass whooping fat boy?"

Cartman said "no" and Stan went on to say "your mom is the biggest whore in town and she can suck them for a long motherfucking time Goddamn it."

Kyle said "whoa Stan you need to calm down."

Mister Garrison said "that's it Stanly you're going to see the school counselor for that language. It just so happens this whole town knows I'm better at sucking dicks than Eric Cartman's mom."

The class erupted in laughter and Stan had to see Counselor Mackey.

Inside Counselor Mackey's office

Counselor Mackey begins lecturing Stan "now you know we can't use that kind of language in a classroom um kay."

Stan replied "yes I know but Cartman got me annoyed."

Counselor Mackey said "oh and do you expect me to believe Mister Garrison stated right in front of the whole class that he could give blowjobs better than Eric Cartman's mom?"

Stan replied "well he did."

Counselor Mackey shot back "guess what I do believe he said it."

Counselor Mackey and Stan both had a great laugh.

At lunch time Stan met up with Kyle and told him "I'll have to call my mom on a pay phone I was not able to charge my cell phone."

Kyle said "that pay phone hasn't worked in this school since 1988."

Kyle let Stan use his cell phone. Stan called his mother and his mother told him it would be another 6-8 hours.

Stan commented "oh so they're going to give us that bullshit again."

Stan hung up and ate his lunch.

When he got home he saw the power was finally on.

He was so happy.

The End


End file.
